Aug. 2019

My Life View & Work View - DYL

I am recently reading a book called Designing Your Life, and I just want to record part of my exercises here, so that after several months, I can compare the results and see if there is anything interesting.

This is the exercise two: The Work View and Life View.

Work View

Work View should address the critical issues related to what work is, what it means to you. It is a general statement of your view of work, your definition of what good work deserves to be. If you can articulate your philosophy of work, you will be less likely to let others design your life for you.

What work means to me is the opportunities that allow or even encourage people to contribute something and also getting something back. The reasons for me to work is actually in two parts, one is money and one is love (that sounds like a studio I applied before, love + money). Based on the survival needs, I need to work for money to pay my bills - as long as I can pay my bills, the money part is not that important anymore. The love and passion are what I value the most - I hope my work doesn't kill me, so I am actually trying hard to find a job that at least has some parts that I love.

Talking about love, the core thing that drives me to work is not that clear in details to me at this stage, but I know a general feeling. I like something fun, something energetic, something that makes people feel being connected. It is so easy for me to go to the dark side, but when I saw some companies’ or studios’ works, I can feel the energy and positiveness inside. Generally, these companies are related to technology, mostly digital, and do something with interaction and aim to make some impacts. I really enjoy the experimental parts of that, but not many companies invest a lot to have bigger teams for these things.

Keeping learning is also a big part for me to keep loving my work. I have been a student for so long time (studied design for six years till now), and learning is what I am so familiar with. That is my skill, and also part of my passion as well. With curiosity and interest, I am always interested in something new. If I am always using something I already learned, that is repeating and exhausting myself, I always need new challenges - these challenges make me fight and keep my love and passion.

And the last part is something not that clear to explain, but it is better to write it down, otherwise, it will always be a mess in my mind. That relates to my life view as well. Recently I found myself looking for a kind of feeling that can be concluded as “freedom & love”. I do not know if it is because I feel being controlled before or just because of the general environment, freedom is the thing that I am chasing for the most. At the same time, I still want to be connected - that sense of belonging is the all-the-time lacking for me and I call that “homenessless”. If a place or an organizer or even a team can accept me as who I am (I can feel free to be myself), I would feel more motivated to work with.

That ideal situation seems great, but the next question is should I mix my life with my work? It is true that we spend most of our life working, and for most of the people, life and work mix with each other. Should I do that as well? I do not know the answer for now.

Life View

Everyone has their own life view, it is your ideas about the world and how it works. It talks about what gives life meaning, what makes your life worthwhile or valuable, how does your life relate to others in your family / community / world, what does money / fame / personal achievement have to do with a satisfying life and how important experiences / growth / fulfillment in your life.

For me, life is a journey.

Any plan? No plan. Any purpose? No purpose. Any meaning? No meaning.

Joking, but it is partly true to me. However, I am also a little bit selfish, so I want to experience as much as possible in this journey using all the resources that I can get. I am here at this stage is because of all the little decisions I made, some of them I am quite happy with, some of them not. Other people are also on their journeys, sometimes we meet and even travel together for a little bit, and most of the time, we just focus on our own ones.

I have little emotional connections with family or country. I do not think that makes me feel belonging, or at least strong belongs for now. Most of the time, I’d rather be an outsider and observer (in a normal way, not the creepy ones). Because of the traditional culture, I would still say the thing that benefits most of the people is a good thing, however, I do not think I can be the judge.

I feel I am hugely affected by the culture from the places I lived in, traveled by or even heard of. All the experience gave me the energy, the understanding, and the braveness to face joy, sorrow, justice, injustice, love, peace and strife in life. They are all parts of the journey, you just cannot avoid it. All those will be valuable memories, because these moments are special - the journey is so long, it always needs something special to remember.

However, like many people cannot accept all these special moments in their life (especially the negative parts, that is especially obvious in some of the cultures), they cannot accept me, the full version of me. I sometimes feel sad, frustrated and stressed, mostly because I doubt myself in directions, or question the real me. But I should admit that sometimes I cannot accept them as well, that is why I need something I love and the past memories to support me.

Overall, It is still MY journey. I did not realize that until last year, and in these months, It happens to mix with my work view because I am applying for jobs. With all the feedback (both positive and negative ones), I am slowly learning how to find the real me and also accept myself in the full version. No more hiding and no more fear - which is the theme or my spiritual destination “freedom & love” requires and also why it is hard to get there.

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